70+ Best Funny Running Quotes to Make You Laugh
There are all kinds of quotes and sayings about the sport of running.
There are running quotes that inspire you. Running quotes that make you chuckle. Some running quotes can make you feel emotional about this fantastic activity.
But what are the best types of running quotes?
Each runner may have a different answer, but funny running quotes are the best. The comical ones help me laugh about the craziness I endure when running a half marathon or marathon.
The following are some of my all-time favorite funny running quotes and sayings. Whether you’re just looking for some hilarious motivation or a funny running quote for an Instagram caption, you’ll find something that matches your runner energy below.
Funny Running Quotes from Movies and People
Pop culture has led the way for some funny, iconic running quotes. The following are a few notable quotes from notable folks.
I decided to go for a little run. – Forest Gump
🍫 I just felt like running. – Forest Gump
You don’t really need cocaine to get really high, do you know what I’m sayin’? Cause there’s another way to get really high and it’s really cheap. Just run 26 miles. – Robin Williams
I would sooner be prime minister of the moon than run another marathon. I’ve been really lucky. I didn’t have any toenails fall off or anything disgusting like that. I still have all three nipples. – Ryan Reynolds
I’ve walked 2 marathons. Pretty sure I can handle a 5k. Key is drafting, eliminate wind resistance. – Andy Bernard, The Office
Finishing that 5k was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I ate more fettuccine Alfredo and drank less water than I have in my entire life. People always talk about triumphs of the human spirit, well, today I had a triumph of the human body. That’s why everybody was applauding for me at the end. My guts and my heart. And, while I eventually puked my guts out, I never puked my heart out. And I’m very, very proud of that. – Michael Scott, The Office
I once saw the Michael Scott quote on a sign when I ran the St. Jude Memphis Marathon. Seeing that sign was my first memorable experience laughing out loud on a race course.
Funny Running Quotes for Running Shirts
If you’re looking for the perfect running shirt, consider something that will make you laugh each time you wear it. The following funny running quotes are often printed on shirts for running and lounging.
One of my biggest fears is that I’ll marry into a family that runs 5ks on holidays.
Everything hurts, and I’m dying.
Run spelled backward is “nur.” That’s a “nur” from me.
I’m never running again. Oh, look… A race!
I like running and maybe 3 people.
A day without running is like… Just kidding! I have no idea.
💭 I’m either running or thinking about it.
I run because punching people is frowned upon.
My sport is your sport’s punishment.
Sorry for what I said before I had my morning run.
🐢 I run. I’m slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter – but I run.
A day without running probably won’t kill me, but why take the chance?
Running is a mental sport, and we’re all insane.
I run like the winded.
🚶🏽♀️ What I love most about running is walking the whole time.
If you see me collapse, pause my watch.
I used to hate running. I still do, but I used to, too.
🌄 Let’s wake up really early and go run really far.
Run now, wine later.
If found on the ground, please drag over the finish line.
Funny Long-Distance Running Quotes
Half marathons, marathons, ultra-marathons, trail running. Whatever your favorite race is, you know what it means to be a long-distance runner. You know the experiences that come with running for hours on end.
You also know there are many humorous parts to long-distance running. Here are a few of the best funny long-distance running quotes.
Half Marathon
If half marathons are your thing, these funny quotes will likely be pretty relatable.
13.1 – I’m only half crazy.
I only run half marathons. I’m lazy like that.
It’s just a 5k with a 10-mile warm-up.
Never mess with a woman who runs 13.1 miles for fun.
Running a Marathon
Is 26.2 miles your distance? These marathon-specific quotes might make you laugh if you’re not busy crying from all that running.
26.2 – Full crazy!
1% of the population will run a marathon in their lifetime. It’s their obligation to talk about it so the other 99% know what they’re missing.
Because 26.3 would be crazy.
Why couldn’t Pheidippides have died at 20 miles? – Frank Shorter
If you feel bad at 10 miles, you’re in trouble. If you feel bad at 20 miles, you’re normal. If you don’t feel bad at 26 miles, you’re abnormal. – Robert de Castella
Running an Ultra Marathon
You surely need some laughs for those brave enough to cover a distance beyond 26.2 miles. Enjoy these funny quotes about ultra marathons.
😅 Never trust a fart in an ultra.
Ultra Running: the Chuck Norris of sports.
Marathoners say: Sky’s the limit. Ultramarathoners say: There are footprints on the moon.
Trail Running
It takes a special person to embrace long-distance trail running. For those people, these quotes and sayings can provide some humor.
🪵 Trail runners do it in the woods.
Trail running is the answer. Who cares what the question is?
🐍 Trail running: where every stick is a snake until proven otherwise.
Funny Running Quotes for Signs
Sometimes I run races to see the witty things spectators can produce. The following funny running quotes are a few from signs I’ve seen throughout the half marathons and marathons I’ve run.
📦 My favorite sport is track. Tracking my online orders.
If I keep running I have to come across a taco stand at some point.
Starting your day with an early morning run is a good way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.
Don’t be a jogger. They’re the ones who find dead bodies.
You run better than the government.
Run like your kids are looking for you.
Run? I thought you said RUM.
Running – cheaper than therapy.
🍦 I run when I have to. Like when the ice cream truck is doing 60.
Run like there’s a hot guy in front of you and a creepy guy behind you.
Running late is my cardio.
Funny Quotes About Running Fast
Runners come at all paces. These quotes should bring a smile to both fast runners and wanna-be fast runners.
🍝 Eat pasta. Run fasta.
Slow runners make fast runners look good. You’re welcome.
The older I get, the faster I was.
🏃🏻♀️ I run like a girl. Try to keep up.
Funny Hill Running Quotes
Hills. The bane of many runners’ existence. Laughing about hills might make running them a bit more bearable. If you plan to run the St. Jude Rock ‘n’ Roll Marathon, keep these quotes in your back pocket. It’s hilly.
What the hill?!
If the hill has its own name, then it’s probably a pretty tough hill.
You know you’re a runner when the phrase “it’s all downhill from here” is a good thing.
🏔 Don’t think of them as hills. Think of them as “mounds of opportunity.”
It’s just a hill. Get over it!
Funny Quotes About Running in the Rain
Whether you enjoy running in the rain or have just gotten caught in it, these quotes should help you laugh as you dry off.
🌧 I went for a run in the rain today and didn’t melt. So, there goes that theory.
Running in the rain: exercise, therapy, and a shower all in one.
Running any given route in the rain makes you feel 50 times more hardcore than covering the same route on a sunny day.
⛈ If it rains, you run. If it thunders, you run faster.
Funny Race Day Running Quotes
Ah, race day! The day you worked hard for all through your training. If you hit the wall or find that it’s not your day, I hope these quotes can pull you through the difficulties.
You know you’re a runner when you pay to run a race located somewhere you can run for free any other day.
🍌 This seems like a lot of work for a free banana.
My last thought before I start a race: Why am I doing this? My first thoughts after finishing: “When can I do this again?”
Where’s the finish wine?
Will Run For… Running Quotes
There’s really no limit to what a runner may run for. Choose your favorite thing and insert it into this funny running quote.
🌮 Will run for tacos.
🍹 Will run for margaritas.
🍩 Will run for doughnuts.
☕️ Will run for coffee.
🍪 Will run for cookies.
So, what will you run for?
Final Thoughts: The Best Funny Running Quotes
There are so many fun running quotes out there, and it’s always great to find one that makes you laugh. Did your favorite funny running quote make this list? If not, what’s your favorite?
